India needs more movies about lesbians - but only HOT lesbians
May I see your panties? Hottie "Perizaad Zorabian might just be playing the role of a lesbian in an English film titled When Kiran met Karen...It is about an Indian woman, living in New York who discovers another facet to her sexuality. She has an affair with a Chinese woman. The film will be directed by New-Jersey based Manan Katohora."
Alright, so I'm pretty sure this movie is going to suck. Mainly cuz my previous experiences with lesbians (Indian lesbian movies that is) are with Fire and Girlfriend. Sure they were controversial and got some idiot politicians and their chamchas (aka cronies) riled up, but as far as film making goes, these were both pretty terrible movies.
That said, I am strongly in favor of movies about lesbians if the following 3 rules are followed:
1. Cast only hot Indian actresses to play lesbians -- Have you ever seen a real-life lesbian who is hot? Neither have I. A movie about 2 Indian women who fall in love is only interesting if I want to imagine myself somehow sandwiched between them. Casting two realistic looking lesbians who resemble chubby 14 year old boys more than women is not a good thing and should be avoided.
2. Make it more graphic -- I'm not asking for pornography. But at least show some kissing and boob grabbing. Make it interesting. Please.
3. Please work on the plot -- Alright, I get the point that lesbianism is forbidden, taboo and against Indian culture and values. Blah blah blah. Please do more than this to put a twist on the story. Maybe take a page out of Bollywood/Hollywood scripts and do one of the following:
Alright, so I'm pretty sure this movie is going to suck. Mainly cuz my previous experiences with lesbians (Indian lesbian movies that is) are with Fire and Girlfriend. Sure they were controversial and got some idiot politicians and their chamchas (aka cronies) riled up, but as far as film making goes, these were both pretty terrible movies.
That said, I am strongly in favor of movies about lesbians if the following 3 rules are followed:
1. Cast only hot Indian actresses to play lesbians -- Have you ever seen a real-life lesbian who is hot? Neither have I. A movie about 2 Indian women who fall in love is only interesting if I want to imagine myself somehow sandwiched between them. Casting two realistic looking lesbians who resemble chubby 14 year old boys more than women is not a good thing and should be avoided.
2. Make it more graphic -- I'm not asking for pornography. But at least show some kissing and boob grabbing. Make it interesting. Please.
3. Please work on the plot -- Alright, I get the point that lesbianism is forbidden, taboo and against Indian culture and values. Blah blah blah. Please do more than this to put a twist on the story. Maybe take a page out of Bollywood/Hollywood scripts and do one of the following:
- 2 lesbians who can't be together because one's family is rich and the other poor. Substitute Hindu and Muslim for this or better yet, a rich Hindu lesbian loving a poor Muslim one. Courtesy: Bollywood
- A lesbian who was separated from her family when young who stumbles upon them through a series of bizarre coincidences after meeting her lesbian lover. But before reuniting with them, she and her lesbiotic lover must overthrow an evil gangster boss who is making her family's life miserable. Courtesy: Bollywood
- A killer Indian lesbian robot is sent from the future to kill a lesbian who will lead a citizen's resistance movement in the future. At its most climactic scene, the killer Indian lesbian robot is about to kill the other lesbian when she realizes she loves her. Then a filmi song starts and both killer and victim lesbian dance in the rain. Courtesy: H/Bollywood
Manan Katohora who is directing this new movie is smart for doing this because although the movie will suck (I'll bet money on this), he's sure to get some controversy going which will get people to see wondering what the buzz is about. And then he has a large market of repressed Indian males out there who will definitely pay for imagery depicting 2 girls getting it on. God knows I'll be there.
Cheers to lesbianism.
posted by Mr. N @ 9:48 AM
4 Comments:
At 3:05 PM,
Chipsen Dipp said…
I disagree with your offhand and unsubstantiated dismissal of "Fire." I found it to be a rather engrossing and thematically complex, operating on numerous levels. I suppose part of the reason for this post's brazen remarks is the anonimity of the internet, prompting many of us (myself included) to express our thoughts in a much freer fashion than we would in the real world.
On the other hand, your third movie scenario sounds absolutely brilliant. I want that film to be made. Aishwarya would, of course, be offered the lead, but would reject it. Ho hum.
At 5:52 AM,
Mr. N said…
Sir Jean,
I applaud your staying power with Desi Diarrhea. Typically I've said something inflammatory by now and loyal readers tell me what an a$$hole I am and then go away (only to read DD secretly).
Yes, the anonymity of the web is nice. Not because I can write things I don't feel, but exactly for the reason that I can write things I feel. I'm an exec at a major financial services firm so if they knew this was me, that would be what I call a "career limiting maneuver". And yes, it is cathartic to be an a$$hole on occassion :)
Back to the Indian lesbians. Don't agree with you on Fire but c'est la vie. In general, I have found Indian movies (not just lesbian ones) that try to deal with complex issues to be superficial, trite and stereotypical depictions of the issue(s) they are trying to discuss. Fire is on a long list of such movies. Monsoon Wedding was another.
Because of their razor thin storylines, lackluster character development, etc., these Indian films court controversy as a way to gain notoriety/interest in the film. I generally leave these films underwhelmed and thinking that if this was made in Hollywood, the critics would hate it. But because it is from India where the bar is lower, it is deemed artistic and inspiring for whatever reason.
IMO, one should never leave a movie saying "It was good for an Indian movie." It should be good universally and this is where Indian films fall short. If they didn't, we'd have a breakout art-house film from India that would crossover.
And as for killer Indian lesbian robot movie. I am glad you like the idea. Ash would be a good choice for it, but she plays it too 'goodie-goodie' for me. We need an actress who is willing to get down and dirty so this movie titillates just a bit.
At 1:02 PM,
Chipsen Dipp said…
Perhaps you're right. However, one of the things prevelant in Indian films that might render international audiences unable to fully appreciate them is the absence of a certain degree of realism. Your request for hotter lesbians would unfortunately counteract any effort at increasing realism, as real lesbians are generally... not very attractive. And Nandita Das circa 1995 certainly wasn't bad-looking.
Anyway, most mainstream cinema all over the world that attempts to tackle controversial topics ends up fitting your description, whether it's Lord of War (very light on any kind of subtlety) or... well not many of them these days even do it.
And Indian cinema, which has developed from a century of different stylistic flimmaking traditions, has to start somewhere in the "message movie" department. And that starting point seems to be Deepa Mehta.
At 10:01 PM,
Anonymous said…
17 boy delhi.i m a boy want sex.i always see sex movies.i want to enjoy life by sex .any girl intrested for sex plee call 9873727987 in delhi.i can handl any age's girl.call rajesh .yahoo id is sexmakh.mak_reena@hotmail.com
Post a Comment
<< Home