Question: Repressed Indian men and their staring problem. Why?
Me so horny. I came across this website called Journey Woman, and it basically provides travel tips to women traveling in foreign countries. And for India, it is not the most flattering picture - catcalls, guys trying to make advances and touch, grab, etc.
And so this got me thinking about my recent trip to India. As I walked with my fiance, I noticed how intensely guys will stare at an attractive girl even if she is with a guy. Here are my observations on this matter which I welcome feedback on:
It is indisputable that the vast majority of Indian guys (young and uncles as well) are extremely repressed. Most of the young ones have never been within 2 feet of a pair of real breasts (mom doesn't count) and the uncles are probably bumbling fools in the bedroom so I do understand the allure of seeing any female. It's the nature of the stares which is troubling to me.
There are two distinct types of starers.
1. The Professional Stare (i.e., the IT, BPO-walas) - These are stares of resignation and defeat. A sad looking "I wish I could have a girlfriend" type of stare. Harmless, pathetic and somewhat funny.
2. The Worker Stare (i.e. the chai, unemployed-walas) - Amongst the worker/poorer classes, it is more troubling because it is a more lascivious, threatening type of look. There was a study done some time ago in the USA where men were asked if they could get away with raping a girl and nobody would ever know, would they do it? I think something like 40-50% said yes. I'd venture to say that it would be much much higher in parts of India.
I also noticed that the staring and catcalling was much worse in Delhi vs Mumbai. I talked to a friend of mine at Google and he mentioned that 80% of the searches originating in India are for pornography. WOW!
Anyone have any thoughts on the above? What will make this improve? Are the vast majority of Indian men going to be in this perennial state of repression for the foreseeable future? Mumbai better than Delhi? How about Bangalore men? Chennai? Would a more sexually liberated society be good or bad for India?
posted by Mr. N @ 7:38 AM
6 Comments:
At 12:13 PM,
Chipsen Dipp said…
Well let's see... perhaps there's a bloody corellation between all those aborted girls and THIS nonsense! Honestly! What are they thinking? I wonder if China has these problems.
At 11:12 AM,
Anonymous said…
my sister and i have had this problem too whenever we've been there. although, i think the IT wallas should be further broken down into 2 more categories: pathetic starers, aggressive starers (OH YES there are, believe me), and the glance-whisper-glance-whisper-ON-THE-COUNT-OF-3-let's-ALL-STARE-types. then yes, you're right there are the small business wallas and the unemployed types who have a much more lascivious way of staring. my sister has been "breathed in" by one of these idiots who walked by her, and i also felt him "breathing her in". it was pretty sickening. this is one of the things that probably deters females from being athletic in india. not to mention the stupid aunties who tell a girl of 21 wearing a simple sleeveless top, "chhi chhi beti, aisi nahin pahinte hain. tumko dekhkar mujhe sharam aarahaa hain." ok i'm going off on a tangent. i'll stop it before it gets disproportionately long. so, yes, these are my thoughts of repressed indian men...and they're not just in india. they're here (in the usa) too. buddhas who think they're being discrete ogling ample breasts...eesh. my poor sister (and my cousin) who is/are slim and shapely get(s) the full extent of it. luckily i don't have to put up with it too much as everyone (desis) complain that i'm too thin. you see, as a 30-40 mile/week runner i've run it all off. but i'll save that for a later discussion.
At 7:47 AM,
iamdeepak said…
Good post and thoughts have enough clarity, but a young Indian has to trust his hand until 25/26 and then might be get married, to get into real action. Sex is still not a need here, it's more philosophical than physical, I hope the future gen can deliver to the expectations !!!!!
My blog is blogurheart.blogspot.com, Would like you to comment.
At 4:07 AM,
Anonymous said…
It has all to do with the restrictive culture and screwed sex ratio …dude grows up with his boy gang in school..passes college fighting other dudes, spends boring lectures staring at the odd beauty in class (she’s already taken) in graduation and finally the 3 odd women in the 100 strong workforce in his job turn out to be cows …. his imagination runs wild at the look of a beautiful face.
I say if you find such a troubled soul help him out…
At 12:12 AM,
Malav Desai said…
I think they are sexually inactive and depressed from the way their society works. E.g. Girls can't wear skirts or sleeveless shirts. If i saw them looking at my girl or female friend, which they usally give a evil smile to show that thier thinking inappropriately, I would hit them, they Make me angry so much when i'm there and even when your by your self they stare. Also i think caucasian women/girls should be accompanied by a man 24/7 in india as there have been many rapes! Even here in the east of London the asians walk side by side in groups everywhere(even toilets and give stares if your not native born (asian born in uk).
At 1:39 AM,
Anonymous said…
I am an Indian, and I understand this too. You can try this, not applicable everytime, still works most of the times. Most of these guys are damn loosers, who dont have balls to approach a girl. Just give them back so bloody a stare, if u can, that they dont dare to look back. And middle finger works too. It works 99% of the times, and they dont have guts to follow you back in most cases. This way, at least you can take the frustration out.
And one last thing, dont judge Indians from few of us, we are billion in numbers. We dont take you all as Pamela Andersons. We know, Julia Roberts exist too.
I appreciate your effort, and we have campaigns going on for this. Hope they will work.
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